This past week and a half saw me in NC emergency rooms, $42.18 hotels, SC Beaches, and at a new company in CA. Not bad, eh? Here are some pics that emerged out of those harrowing times and spaces

If you have ever once thought that the mountain that is the moving picture industry is just tooo daunting to scale, take heart. If the writer who wrote this episode of Jerry Bruckheimer's 11th Hour can, there is hope for you and me

"Hood, Rachel and Felix are in New York during Fashion Week because of a series of murders in the fashion industry. Questioning the killers, Hood learns that these previously non-violent people felt incredible sexual desire and attraction for someone close by which incites them to pursue them at all costs, killing either the object of their desire or someone they perceived as getting in their way. Hood quickly rules out environmental toxins because the affected group is limited. His investigation leads him to a pheromones inserted to a new perfume released to a select group of 100 and he must track down all the recipients as well as stop the bitter perfumer’s lab tech who believes he isn't getting his fair share of the company's profits."

 

“I was deep into the Ghost Whisperer's rack when the phone range.”

“I was waiting patiently for a good shot of the Ghost Whisperer’s rack when the phone rang.”

“I was waiting patiently for a good shot of the rack of the ghost whisperer”

“I was waiting patiently for a good shot of the ghost whisperer’s rack when the phone rang.”

My writing career is coming right along.

Even when nobody cares anymore except folks into meta this meta that, Joaquin Phoenix is still pretending he's quit acting to become a rapper. Like last night at the Miami nightclub, Fontainebleau. I know, it's gonna be hard to imagine somebody heckling him, but that's exactly what happened, making Phoenix say, “We have a ****ing bitch in the audience." Not really feeling threatened by the Jewish diamond merchant on stage, the heckler continued to harass Phoenix until Phoenix said, "I've got $1 million in a ****in' bank account. What have you got bitch?" Then he jumped into the crowd before he was dragged off by security. See, this is why no one can take him seriously? A rapper? With a million dollars in something called a bank? Oh, come on. No one has a million in the bank. Hogwash!

Where has quality like this gone?

In all fairness, they were discussing the use of the passive in Jane Austen.

                                    (illustration by Shannon Freshwater)

The Family Tree can weigh heavy on one in all kinds of ways. The best thing to do is laugh about it.

One of the things we do is try to convince ourselves that time has passed. We must fill up space with time or we will go...insane! But let's look at it in the reverse.

Let's fill up time with space.

That is to say to examine the physical movements tiny piece by tiny piece, slowing them down until we are free from the human pull of, er, realism.

Let's try it with Ms. Marissa Miller  here who is checking to see if she indeed did apply her anti-perspirent.

(Cue TIME PASSING TITLE CARD)

Sorry, but couldn't do it. She's just tooooo real.

The latest episode of Mike Le's funny cartoon on Hollyweird is entitled "Jesus Christ Superstar." Pop over to his site and enjoy some back strips.

The panda is about to get the stare at any moment and if he alludes to Stephen's absent ponytail, a flurry of punches to the throat.

To remotely connect these pictures with anything about or related to the Super Bowl, you gonna have to do some helluva free association. Give it a whirl.

                                       Chinese models Love Football too

           I wonder if this gent and his dog (cat?) could enjoy the game?

                 Where are you when we need you Wonder Woman?

                               A vision of Bush 43's retirement

 "It might be better if you made it after 12. After-game traffic is gonna suck."

10.  GRAPE-PEELER

9.     TATTOO MODIFIER

8.     DELIVERY (LADYBOY PREF)

7.     DELIVERY (MEDS)

6.     STAIN REMOVER

5.     LISTENER

4.     ASPURGER EXPLAINER

3.    SNAKE WHISPERER

2.    CHEMIST (PLASTICS PREF)

1.    CHEST HAIR STYLIST

Laura Bans over at This Recording made me fall out of my cubicle laughing at her Academy Awards Dis, specifically of the Boss who apparently tossed off the lyrics of Best Song for The Wrestler

MOST RETARDED METAPHOR IN A MUSICAL NUMBER: Bruce Springsteen/The Wrestler

In the first stanza of The Wrestler’s eponymous theme song, Bruce mutters:

Have you ever seen a one trick pony in the field so happy and free?
If you’ve ever seen a one trick pony then you’ve seen me
Have you ever seen a one-legged dog making his way down the street?
If you’ve ever seen a one-legged dog then you’ve seen me

One trick pony analogy: okay, sure. But, uh, Bruce, question pour vous: Have you ever seen a one-legged dog? Because I don’t think you have. A one-legged dog gets put to sleep. Like, immediately. You can’t even find a picture of a one-legged dog on Google Image Search. Well, there’s this one, but I’d be willing to bet my butt cheek that this photo is doctored

It is a balmy 22 degrees F here in Columbus which is a right pretty town, especially all covered in snow. I was happy to say good-bye to Chicago and 30 below zero (!) chills. Here are some random pics from the road.

                                                  The LA Metro Impossibly Clean

                                                Jeff Wells @  Sundance

                Feeling blue after a nasty divorce? Try snowboard lessons

I never thought I would say this so soon, but I wish I was on my way back to LA right now. Chicago, I give in. Your kind of cold can kill a man, even walking from the car to the hotel. It's the kind of cold that first stuns one skin, quickly making its way through your slow-flowing blood, and attacks the bones.

Good God.

A laugh might be in order here. Watch these two dudes try to get out of a dirty dancing violation with their principle.

This.

Filed under 'why didn't I think of that?' I might even submit a spec script for Part II to the genius producers.

Sample Pitch for sequel: "Thai toughs follow Bandy from Thailand to Cleveland, OH where she has found work hosting a local karioke. Having lost the precious mojo that she learned in the streets of Cowboy Soi, who should arrive in the bar to help her find it but an alcoholic burnt-out Mr. Miyagi."