Because this is one I can understand deep in the marrow of me bones, I could not resist passing along this Defamer sighting of our favorite boozer, world savior, waterboarder, Kiefer Sutherland  out and about on the town. Hopefully, he was not driving.

"This was my first Kiefer sighting, and as such, lived up to everything I had ever dreamed it would be. He was sloshed, and making loving, physically affectionate small talk with a young couple. (The girl was cute, and had a mohawk. The guy was nondescript.) At one point he was talking so kind of—oratorially—we really had no option but to stop our conversation and take it all in. We have no idea what he was saying—but not because it was too loud. We just couldn't understand what it was he was saying.

Not one to judge but shouldn't Misha Barton spend the extra cash on acting lessons instead? Just like one of my friend's told me I just might might want to consider spending the PBR suitcase $$$ on writing lessons. I would rather light a candle than curse your darkness..

Most people probably think acting is a pretty cushy job and while it might be for a few at the top there are risks. In the upcoming Tom Cruise movie, Valkyrie, eleven actors were injured as they fell from an improperly maintained truck.

We all expect stunt men and women to take the fall from time to time but so goes the myth that acting is easy.

Short on details but just the same, juicy gossip for television.

No wonder she can't get serious rolls in Hollywood. Hmmmm...

Remember actress Thora Birch? American Beauty? Nude in a tub-full of roses? Ghost World? Sex scenes with JIm Buscime? Yea, that's her. She's at it again in her new movie "The Winter of Frozen Dreams." Before you yawn though read on:

        THE crew making "The Winter of Frozen Dreams" in upstate Schenectady was horrified when the   father/manager of star lady Thora Birch insisted on watching the filming of her sex scenes with Dean Winters. Even though it's industry practice to shoot sex scenes on a closed set, Jack Birch - who met Thora's mother, Carol Connors, as her co-star in "Deep Throat" - demanded to be present as his daughter and Winters simulated intercourse last week. "It was so wrong," said one insider. "The director is saying, 'Harder! Faster!' and the father is giving Winters the thumbs up."  (Page Six)

Geez, it's difficult enough without your Dad watching even if he does have hard experience 'under his belt.'

Hollyweird indeed.

Becuase now is the time for all to trot out their Best of Lists (geez, there's a lot!) and everyone has left Hollywood for some reason,  we thought we would forward one of our faves on to you from the best weekend ever. Who made the list? Who shoulda made the list? Who killed someone to not be on the list? (Hint: He works for the Redskins' owner now) Enjoy.

What with all this talk and flack regarding the proper etiquette of Miss Nation-States around the country, I thought I would weigh in on what I think the requirements of a Miss Title Holder should be: One, make as much $$$$ as possible without mussing the feathers of MADD, Office Supply Conventions Sponsors, or Local Liquor Store Lobbyist everywhere. After all, you are representing the aspirations of young gals all across the country which seem to be going in the same direction. Here Miss Nevada shows us how its done. She does Nevada proud. Go here to see Miss Nevada in some light bisexual action and write a thank you note to Trump for standing up for the American Way, despite the low rhetoric of a noisy Lesbian.

THIS  JUST IN: Miss Nevada has been stripped of her title by the powers that be for just being American. TMZ has the sordid hypocracy as does abc news.

Taking a page from Mel's book, Stallone feigns and lunges on the Christian network with Pat Robertson: "Just wanted to alert you to the fact that Stallone just appeared on The 700 Club to discuss the Christian allegorical element in Rocky. He claimed at one point that not for a moment does he think he wrote the script alone -- that's right, Rocky as prophetic text. I half expected him to crack up when he bade a pious farewell to Pat." (via Defamer)

The check is in the mail, I only worked with him briefly, the marketing cost was 6 million, shot for under 12 grand, you have heard them all. Now this myth is debunked too?? From Hollywood Today: 

Before everyone is dead: "In a twist worthy of a James Ellroy novel, con man Stephen Cohen -- who forged a letter convincing Network Solutions to give him possession of the URL sex.com (via VeriSign) and whose whereabouts are still unknown -- can now add "gangland murder attempt" to the new chapter in his real-life, sex.com neo-noir crime drama. When the URL's owner, Gary Kremen, had the courts order Cohen to return Sex.com and pay him $65 million in damages, Cohen fled to Mexico -- after he'd had the URL for three years, allegedly making $500,000 a month selling banner ads to other online porn sites. Come to think of it, the whole story (now 11 years in the making) could only be written by Carl Hiassen to have a fitting and sensible end -- especially when you throw in a history that includes a convicted felon, a private investigator with a Stanford MBA, a Match.com startup dot-commer (now former) tweaker, a daughter caught smuggling 202 pounds of marijuana, a bizarre bid to buy Caesars Palace in Las Vegas, and the operator of a Mexican shrimp farm. Don't forget the Tijuana assassination attempt. (via BoingBoing)

 There is a line in one of the plays by Shakespeare where one of the players says it's gonna storm like hell and Banquoe (I believe) says quickly and brutally" Let it come down!" Indeed. It's over, impossibly-doomed from the start. Now. Who gets the the heavy, ornate dark-brown furniture and the ferrari? I don't know. I feel like going on a binge I'm so sad.

 This exchange between TV Show Creator/Writer is an example how  no matter how or where you score, never pass up the opportunity to brainstorm your writing zen. Here is Sorkin at his dental hygienist: "

DENTAL HYGIENIST: I just need to ...

AARON SORKIN: You know what's weird about Poulenc? It sounds like you're pronouncing him wrong, even when you're doing it right. It's the "ank" sound, as in "Paul Anka." I guess you've never heard of Paul Anka, either.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: Can you open wide for me, please?

AARON SORKIN: You would think it would be the "ankh" sound, as in the ankh, the Egyptian symbol of life. But it's not. It's the Paul Anka sound. You know, it would help if you said certain words back to me, just random sentences that use the same key words I'm using.

DENTAL HYGIENIST: I have a lot of other patients who need their teeth cleaned, so ...

AARON SORKIN: Like I say, "Les Six," and you say, "Les Shut Up!" Something like that. I don't know. That's just off the top of my head. It doesn't have to make sense. It just has to sound like banter. It has to give a banterlike impression. Hey, that's a good example. I could say, "It just has to sound like banter," and then you shoot back, real quick-like, "Oh, it has to give a banterlike impression." We just say the same words back to one another over and over in different random orders.

Go here to read the whole bizarre exchange. (via Defamer)

-David Lynch will distribute his latest film Inland Empire himself. Wow. Can't wait for this one and to see how DIY Dist. goes for him. (THR)

      "Lynch will work with well-known theatrical and home video partners to launch his epic   fever dream of a film, retaining all rights to the low-budget project in each service deal. The partnerships will be announced within the next week. A release slated before the end of the year, as is an awards season campaign for star and co-producer Laura Dern."

I don't have a problem with folks toting around their baggie and hell, even dipping into it now and again. What I do have a problem with is Hilton's Publicist Elliot Mintz saying things like this:

"Things are not always as they appear. It would be unfair to draw any conclusions based solely on these photos."

I think he has been rolling up as well. (photo defamer)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Why oh why do I live here..? And whyuhihooowhyyyy do I post s**** like this..? (God only knows) In a bid for even more publicity, Paris gives a Crack Addict $100 at a McDonald's Drive-Thru. I wonder if said User followed the "fitty-fitty rule", wherein he smokes half with the provider? (defamer)

The author of classic H-wood Fare dishes on the craft of screenwriting and how the 'folks' who say them get by here in the grid. Here are some stand-outs:

 

"Val Kilmer is an imbecile. Asked by the Academy to nominate the three best film moments of the century, Kilmer nominated three of his movies. One of them was 'Batman Forever.'"

"For many years, Robert De Niro, always brilliant onscreen, couldn't even say two words on his own. He'd sit there, not speaking - woefully, miserably, pathetically lost without the words of a script."

"You don't want Edward Norton to star in your movie. He now rewrites all the scripts he agrees to act in."

And Eszterhas claims that when Madonna was trying to get the part in "Desperately Seeking Susan," she went to the office of Orion production chief Barbara Boyle, "dropped to her knees and said, 'I'll do anything to get this part.' Boyle said, 'I'm happily married and I'm straight,' to which Madonna replied, 'You should try everything once.'" (NY Daily News)

 

Perez Hilton intercepts Lohan's SOS while relaxing at paparazzi-infested eatery:

"Almost witnessed 3kids being hit by paparazzi.... Never in my life had
an expirience as I just did with the paparazzi. I am not kidding I am
shaking, cannot breathe a bit, scared, anxious and sad. If someone
doesn't feel bad, than I will feel bad for myself. It is disgusting what
these g-d damn people are doing to me. As well as the people in my life that I work with/for. Its vulgar and I'm saddened for myself."

Me as well, Ms. Lohan. I do sympathize with you but then I remember how they help make lots of $$$$ for you and then I get cynical again. I am such an insensitive ass..

Here's a inspirational if somewhat funny story of how one man recovered from addiction: