Why is it that every holiday season the studios attempt to cram a bunch of crap down the throats of unsuspecting families (namely moms and dads) toting the tots to the multiplex for some contrived x-mas cheer? The answer, of course (duh), is to make large sums of money.

Who wouldn’t want to witness the comic genius of that lovable former coke-head Tim Allen, masquerading as Santa for a 3rd time? Or watch Matthew Broderick flying hilariously through the air in a Santa sleigh himself in Deck the Halls? Definitely not me. And hopefully all of the people that have ever visited this site.

Yes, there are 2 cheeseball Christmas films with high-profile actors vying for your hard-earned holiday dollars. Besides Allen, S3 also has Martin Short, who seems to have had more work done than Ashlee Simpson in the past year. Don’t get me wrong. I loved Short in SCTV, liked him in Three Amigos, and tolerated him as Jeramy Glick, but c’mon! What? You wanted to do a film the grandkids could see? Please.

And what’s Broderick doing? I mean, you’d think you’d have a little more coming your way after having been in the biggest show on Broadway for a few years. You have some bills to pay off? Carrie Bradshaw’s buyin too many Minolas and Daddy has to find other means of making the lady happy? What?

It seems to me Broderick and Short, both of recent Producers runs, have decided to have a “Who Can Make the Shittiest Christmas Movie Battle Royale”. Who will win? Well, if money’s the deciding factor, they both win? Why? I’m assuming they had to both get very sizable paychecks to make this trash. 1,2,3 mill.- who knows? That would be hard to pass up.