George, with the money you have would it not be easier to call the hustlers to your home at 3 am and build a dark park look-a-like?

John's accidental tryste-mate told NOTW: "I don't even like George Michael. And I didn't recognise him immediately.

"He sort of came up and got close. He looked kind of brown so I said to him, ¡®You're not totally English, are you?'

"I told him I'd come all the way up from Brighton and he said, ¡®What? Isn't Brighton good enough for this sort of thing?'

"I told him it's highly dangerous at 2am. You'd get your throat cut.

"He told me I could contact him on the Gaydar website and we just started kissing.

"He did it very well. That was one of his major points. Then it was fondling and mutual pleasuring. It wasn't full sex but it was fantastic." (News of the World) 

I know it's mean-spirited of NOTW (and us) but geez, come-on.