How does it come to this? One day you're sittng in the cat-bird's seat, enjoying a BBQ on your new slate patio with your beautiful wife and two healthy kids. You see the evening sunlight filter through her sundress, revealing her still-firm legs, as she gives the steaks a turn. You take a big long drink of single malt and look toward heaven with a smile.

So absurdly happy.

How could it come to this? Homeless, clutching a can of cheap beer, penniless. Was it one too many times into the honey jar? One-over-the-nine at your local watering hole? Was it the addiction to young bear pornography? Or was it something deeper, darker..unnamable?

All is not lost, however, not yet ,for you are still alive. You have heard of a group of bears who meet regularly together to smoke cigarettes and drink coffee and speak of new beginnings. Yes, Mr. Bear, stand up and make your way over there and raise both paws high into the air and say "My name is Fred and I am a..!"

Then help yourself to all the cookies you can eat.