Our chum Pistol Pete sent in this dispatch from the depths of a megaplex wherein he sort of reviews S3

A friend asked if I wanted to go see Spider Man 3 at 10 pm with him and another friend.  I hadn’t been to a movie in a while it could be fun in a silly action sort of way.

What the hell was I thinking?

The experience featured:

 **30 minutes of nonsensical previews and commercials.

**A little 16 year old punk coming to the front of theatre and telling these prom kids they’d be thrown out if they talked during the show.  (was it because they were black?)

**A recap of all the commercials and shows.

**The official previews featuring rehashed sequels and animated CGI flicks coming up for the summer.

 I wished constantly for my Information Blocking Cocoon, but it hasn’t been invented yet.

 The actual movie featured:

 **An opening CGI sequence with this black spider webbing that twisted and turned so much (and for what purpose) that I got a headache.

**A horrible romance thread that consumed nearly 30 minutes of film time.  It looked like the actors would burst out laughing at some point.

**Numerous uses of extended shots on characters faces.

**The main characters entire storyline related to the effects of the Black Suit.  Terrible.

**Humor that not even children found funny.

**The great Sandman special effects that took years to do, were interesting for about 30 seconds.

**The clichés beat down on the audience heads so fast I felt sick.

 Overall, I recommend this method to torture political prisoners, but as far as a consumer experience, these megaplexes have absolutely failed.