I emptied my bank account and went to the Hollywood costume store. My heart beating fast, I asked the clerk for a Don Simpson circa 80s or early 90s. He gave me a curious look and disappeared through a red curtain. Presently he returned with the race car suit from the Tom-Cruise vehicle "Days of Thunder."

"I'll take it!" I said excitedly.

He looked bored. "Doesn't come with accessories."

I told him this was not a problem, payed for it, and went to a 24 hour pharmacy around the corner on Ivar. I stocked up on all the legal pills I could-brand names; no bs generic ones for Don didn't roll that way- and before I left I bought a pair of out-of fashion sunglasses and asked the pharmacist if I could use the restroom to change into my costume. She looked me over and montioned around the corner.

I changed into my replica of the exact racing suit that Simpson wore as an extra in his own film "Days of Thunder" and left the pharmacy feeling great, powerful. I let the few odd looks of some patrons roll off my back as they could not touch me anymore. Going out the door, I got my vintage cell phone and called my limousine which was ideling at the corner. The driver failed to get out and open my door for me. I screamed he was a "sonofabitch!" and barked at him to take me to a drug dealer that Charlie Sheen had reccomended sometime, somewhere on Vermont.

I rolled down the window and stuck my head out and took a whiff of the dirty boulevard and smiled. I sat back down and rolled up the window. I put large chunks of ice that had been ice-picked by hand into a tumbler and poured 6 shots of whiskey. I opened pills at random and sluiced a few into my mouth and then a few more until they began falling out and sticking to my lip. Tilting my head back, I choked them down with some difficulty. Some flew from my mouth and stuck on the glass partition of the limo.

"Yeaaaa!" I shouted.

I turned the stereo on an inserted a "Flashdance" casette and turned the volume to maximum. Michael Sembrello's "Maniac" never sounded so sweet. With perfect timing, we got to the dealer's place just as the last refrain began to fade out. (to be continued..)