Meet the Gary Coleman of Politics. The former publisher of Screw magazine, homeless person, and pornography advocate is now a 2008 Presidential candidate. Platform?
- Removing the “o” from country
- Universal AL-Care, which will provide daily government subsidized cunnilingus for women, and a damn good cigar for every male citizen
- Will continue to hate George and love bush
- Will try his famed tongue on Nancy’s Pelosi.

Give'em a chance America. We can do no worse at this point.