Last night, Matthew McConaughey, probably high as a cosmonaut, joined ESPN’s trio of supremely mediocre broadcasters in the Monday Night Football booth. He plugged his soon-to-be-released feature, We Are Marshall. Prior to that, during the show’s opening credits, that zany guy Ben Stiller provided we the viewers with some mildly humorous shtick- and while he did not directly plug his soon-to-be-released feature, Yet Another Movie With My Good Buddy Owen, he flashed his mug up on the TV screen all the same.

Now, McConaughey talking up his film is somewhat forgivable since it is actually about football and does happen to be a true story about people pulling together in the face of tragedy. But, his is the only plug in a season of gratuitous plugging that is somewhat forgivable. In fact, there’s been so much plugging going on that apparently, MNF’s producer has had to have surgery to repair the lining of his colon (figuratively speaking of course, people).

Mike: Well, this is a critical 4th down attempt at this point in the game.

Tony: Who cares? Sly Stallone is here to plug his new movie, Rocky: He’s Not Quite Dead Yet.

Joe: Hey, “Sly”, you pretty much are Rocky.

Sly: Yeah. I am him and he is I.

Joe: Wow, that’s a little deep for me. So what’s it like doing those boxing movies over and over again?

Sly: It’s good. I get to stay in shape while I ride out the wave that is the Rocky franchise. Also, I have to make more movies to pay for the plastic surgery.

Tony: Hey, can you say “Yo, Adrian” for us? It might almost make me cream my pants.

Sly: OK. But you have to promise me that you’ll not only plug my movie after I leave but you’ll tell all the celebs who come in here plugging their own movies to plug mine too.

Mike: Sure. We don’t mind prostituting ourselves here at ESPN. We do it so much it doesn’t matter anymore.

(All share a hearty chuckle.)

Sly: OK- “Yo, Adrian.” I love saying that over and over again.

Joe: (placing his arm gently around Sly’s shoulders and looking into his eyes) Everybody does.

Sly: Well, gotta go. Thanks again for having me. You just increased my opening weekend box office receipts by .2 %. Ciao.


Note: This may not be exactly how the conversation went. I was drunk and not journalistically objective.